We will start Chemo this Thursday, April 21st. We will be doing Folfox again with the addition of an Antibody called Avastin. The purpose of the Avastin is it strangles the tumor, it shuts down the blood supply in hopes of helping to kill it off. There are minimal side effects, the one thing to watch for is High Blood pressure. This antibody couldn’t be used back in 2012 as we were gearing up for surgery and this antibody doesn’t allow wounds to heal therefore it wouldn’t have worked. This time, with surgery not being a part of our immediate plan, we are hoping this will provide added benefit.
We go for a refresher “chemo teach” appointment this Wednesday at 9:00am. This is just a refresher on everything we need to know about chemotherapy, what to be careful of and what and how to handle everything. Then Thursday morning we arrive at 11:30am to start the process. If I recall correctly, we’re definitely there for 4-5 hours.
Tim feels really good other than the worry that sits and stirs in the pit of his stomach. He knows what to expect, although there are no guarantees things will be the same this time. He knows what he needs to do and the difficulties he will/may encounter. We are ready to do this yet so sad and mad that we have to. We were so ready for the good weather to be here and to kick back and enjoy an awesome summer on the motorcycles and on the softball and soccer fields with our girls….and Tim has been counting every second of the day getting ready for his Golf League to start up. So yes, disappointment as the good weather finally arrived this week and we find ourselves in treatment this week. I try not to be the ‘woe-is-me’ person and that most definitely is not my intent. It is what it is and we must do what we must do.
Quick little story with the girls….they did not have school today. So I am in the office working this morning and Skyler is out in the kitchen doing homework with music playing; music is how she communicates with me. She blasts the song – A Little Too Much by Shawn Mendes and plays it a couple of times in a row. If you’ve never listened to the song you should – it is beautiful and absolutely spot on. She then follows that song up with If You Can Hear Me – Ben Rector… again, it couldn’t be more appropriate. I know where her head and heart is and I know how very much she is hurting through this music. I stayed in my office and cried and cried and peeked in to the kitchen and saw her doing the same. We stayed separate but were more together than ever. Mackenzie kept our minds and bodies busy this weekend with her Birthday celebrations Friday and again yesterday. She is starting now to get worried about Thursday’s infusion. Her questions will begin (again) at bedtime tonight. Her worry will overwhelm her. It will be a rough week all the way around.
Prayers for Tim’s strength, minimal side effects and effective chemotherapy on Thursday. Pray for strength for Skyler and Mackenzie and for peace in their hearts and heads. I hope you enjoyed this beautiful day.
XOXO, Denise