Life isn’t fair is it? Remember as a kid how unfair it was? You didn’t get picked to be on the team you wanted… you didn’t get to go to the mall with your friends when you wanted… you had to do chores instead of go outside and play… you didn’t get to have what others had. Wow, life was so unfair. I remember saying that to myself as a child and as a teenager, how unfair life was. Then, going in to young adulthood, things seemed to be more fair, at least to me. I understood what was expected of me, thanks to my parents, and that I needed to take ownership of what I wanted. So I worked for it. I knew what I wanted. Through those times, life was fair. When I look back now, I know why I thought it was fair; it was because I was getting what I wanted. That to me now seems pretty selfish. You can say it, it does.
Then in to the part of life where I became a Wife and a Mother, guess what… life was STILL fair. I found an amazing man – all that I had ever dreamed of in a Husband; funny, loving, honest, supportive and compassionate – I got what I wanted. I was then blessed with the two most beautiful, most precious gifts ever… our daughters; Skyler MacKennah and Mackenzie Logan. Life was perfect. Perfectly beautiful. I knew I was blessed. Life was fair.
So my perfectly beautiful life is then turned upside down and inside out and I go back to how unfair life is. And it is. But life is only unfair based on the way you look at it. To me, it is unfair because I’m not getting what I expected. I don’t know what will come next. I don’t know what the greater plan is. All I do know is, this is not going according to what I had planned, so I deem it to be ‘unfair’. But here is the thing; if I can hold on to the Hope and the Faith and trust that this is all as it should be, then this IS fair. This is and can be as beautiful as we make it and I think we’re doing a pretty good job with it so far. This has changed our family forever. Skyler and Mackenzie are such incredible little ladies, you’ve no idea what they’ve accomplished in the last 12-24 months and how much they’ve grown – academically, emotionally, spiritually… it is an amazing gift to see and be a part of. Because of the way Tim and I are choosing to accept this new road we are on, we have found a deeper love, something that I don’t believe we would have experienced otherwise.
I talked with someone last night at our Fundraiser Event and he had lost someone close to him just a few days ago. We talked about what a great guy he was and how unfair it was that he was taken at such a young age (43). We then turned to look at Tim and spoke of how unfair it is that he is going through the battle he is. Here is my thought on this, and again, this is just my thought in this moment and I felt compelled to share… IT IS FAIR. It should be these people and you know why? Because these are the people that have already touched so many in their life, in so many different ways. They are the people that have the most breadth. They have the ability to communicate with others in a way that many do not. Through the loss of them, through their victories, through the battles they must fight – just by knowing them, you become a better person. They are true gifts to those that know them and those that truly love and embrace who they are. To those of us that know Tim, embrace Tim, support Tim… we are all better people.
This is God’s way of helping all of us. He chooses those that can do His work here on earth. Some are here longer to do His work and some do it in a shorter period of time. Tim, I believe, is doing amazing work and has so much more left to do. I think that Tim, Skyler, Mackenzie and I have embraced this situation and the difficulties that come with it. We work with every breath that we have, to turn it in to something good. To speak kinder. To be kinder. To love more. To help others. To keep raising awareness of this disease and to keep telling Tim’s story. To continue to provide Hope to those that need it. God Is Good. His work is amazing if only you take the time to step back and see it.
Remember that this life is a temporary place where we all have the chance to leave a beautiful memory of ourselves. To make our mark. To give to others. To be remembered as a good person, a giving person. Do that with every chance that you can. Give!!!! Give a hug. Give a smile. Give a kiss. Give a hand. Give a dollar. Give a wink. Give respect. Give support. Give hope.
Not sure what this blog entry is for or if it has any purpose, but I will say that I find it comforting to share my thoughts because if my thoughts help to inspire just 1 person and it helps get them through a difficult time, then I have done good. Give Good Get Good.