1 More Day…

1 More DayWell here we are, sitting in our hospital room.  Last night we got next to no sleep.  Tim said it was because the bed and pillow were terrible… I don’t think that was it.  I was comfortable but struggled to sleep.  We had a nice evening and a nice dinner with the girls and family.  This morning however, has been a big challenge for all of us… as I’m guessing you could imagine.  Saying goodbye to the girls as we left the hotel was paralyzing.  I haven’t experienced such pain and heart ache ever.  Tim held the girls and they trembled and cried and asked WHAT IF… oh dear God please continue to provide me with strength to support My Three… I need your help now.  I am giving it all up to Him and Believing… I believe, I believe, I believe… but my Husband and Babies are struggling.  They just came to our room for a quick visit and are now off with my Parents to meet my Brother and family at the National Aquarium for the day – they will have a great time.  My Tim is struggling, he is SO scared, he cries… his lips buckle and quiver, his eyes well with an unbelievable amount of tears… he keeps saying “at some point I won’t be nervous”.  I hope that for him.  I hope that for me.  I hope that for the girls and I hope that for everyone.  Hey, I am wearing my Hope shirt today… hope, hope, hope.  I keep staring at him… I keep seeing us in the future educating, helping and advocating for others… that is our purpose.  We are great communicators and need to use that to help do this work.  He cannot be taken from me, he just can’t.  He makes me happier than I ever could have imagined I could be… just broke from typing to look at him and wow, he is beautiful – inside and out… he is making Angie, our In Charge Nurse, laugh right now… they’re having great conversation about vasectomies J  Everyone loves him – he will be okay… his charisma and personality will and can do so much with this disease.  He is now carrying on about how wonderful his daughters are… such beautiful noise.  I so want to just fall to my knees right now and crumble and cry… REALLY cry… but I won’t allow that at least right now.  He needs me to remain strong… he cannot see me fall apart – tomorrow morning’s “See Ya Later” will be our moment to hold each other and cry together… and we will… it’s unavoidable… see, right now, talking to Angie, he is crying again… oh friends, pray for him, pray for me, pray for Dr. Sardi and his Team.  Thank you for all of your support, prayers, messages… we love you dearly.  Sweet Dreams, it is almost Thursday, July 26th.

XOXO, Denise

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