Wow, so one year ago on this day (date was the 28th), was the day that we went for Tim’s very first, post surgery/treatment CT Scan results to check for any evidence of disease. I tremble with emotion as I think back… 365 days ago. We are so blessed to have received the news that we did on that day, and the news that we have received every scan since then. We are incredibly blessed and will be forever thankful.
The Casino Night Fundraiser is only 5 days away and we are very excited about it… yet at the same time, I – I’m not speaking for Tim – but I, am starting to get a little funky inside. I’m finding myself much more emotional than usual and for those that REALLY know me, you’re probably wondering if that’s at all possible as I’m always so emotional. But it is… it is happening that there are nerves and senses inside me that are on “high alert”.
The love that Tim and I feel for each other every day is so intense. It is so intense and so very real. We’ve always been deeply in love, but there are days that I find myself looking up above and being thankful for this journey. For appreciating that this is what God had in store for us and that we have the faith, the love and the support to be able to take this incredibly scary and painful part of our life and make it beautiful. No, it is not all peaches and cream… but if you can step back in every situation in your life, no matter how terrible it feels at the moment and internalize the fact that this is how it supposed to happen… and that by embracing and accepting it… you will be able to find the message within it. You will be able to find the beauty of it.
There are 130 people signed up to come to our Casino Event this weekend. There are 30+ companies/individuals that have Sponsored our Event. There are countless individuals and businesses that have donated Auction and/or Raffle items. I often wonder, why are they doing this for us? I mean really, who are we and why do we deserve to feel such love and support? It is really a very, very overwhelming feeling and so difficult to try to express to you all. I really wish that I was better with words to tel you all how this REALLY feels… it is so overwhelming. I look in the mirror, I look at the girls, I stare at Tim – I do this often – and I wonder why we get to be so lucky? It sounds so weird and somewhat uncomfortable for me to say – but we are. I mean really, who can sit back and look at the people they are surrounded by and feel this… it brings me to my knees.
I hope the girls get it; I hope that deep down in they feel this. I know some day they will. I try to talk to them about it a lot. I want to make sure they appreciate every single one of you. I want them to know, it is because of beautiful people like you that they are as strong as they are. It is because of the support that Tim and I have that allows us to keep them thriving. For that, I could never thank you all enough. As a Mother, to be able to make it through the last 22 months as we have, and to see our daughters grow stronger by the minute, is so rewarding. They have not been broken down by this…and I think they so easily could have been. This upcoming Event I know, helps to embed the message inside them about how important it is to love, support and give. It reminds them of why we are here on earth; of what our purpose is… to help others… to pay it forward… to live a beautiful, enriched life… thank you all for doing this with us.
365 beautiful days since our celebration of No Evidence of Disease. The words “Way To Go Wesley” ring in my ears. My heart is so full, there are times it feels like it could burst. I end this entry with an enormous amount of gratitude and love for you all and a reminder about what’s really important; don’t miss the small ‘things’, don’t get so busy that you’re passing them by. Thank God every day for your family and friends. Practice patience, with everyone. Open up your arms and give a hug to someone, for no reason at all. Smile, you are so much more beautiful when you do. Stop gossiping, there is no good in that. Stop judging, you don’t walk in their shoes. Squeeze those babies of yours, no matter what their age. Pray with those babies. And for that one and only of yours… be thankful. Work to see the good in them all the time… forgive when mistakes are made. They are not perfect. YOU are not perfect. Kiss them, a lot. Hold them for long period of times. Say thank you to them, for no reason and for every reason.
XOXO, Denise